Wanted : Person

To watch me bawl my eyes out, pour shots to get me pitch drunk, make sure i pass out, tuck me in, feed my dog. Applicants should not ask any damn questions. Smokers preferred. Will write note to make sure you get dropped back home.

Really...

How do you tell people that new born babies are NOT cute?
Give it a couple of months and then we'll decide..

P.S: Are they? Is there something wrong with me?